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Greetings, fellow losers! I’m Pam. After I lost my job, my health insurance, and my Prozac, the voices in my head came back, and now I can tell the future. Rad, huh?

WEEK OF MAY 27, 2001: What with day after day of incessant rain, this has been quite a trying week for all of you. Poor Pisces was hurting most of all. Yes, the fish had to cage her free spirit all weekend during her brother’s graduation from Dartmouth. Talking to his meathead, jizzrag fraternity pals made her want to puke – but at least she scored 5 bottles of nice shampoo from the hotel!